Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize