It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
