MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
