Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize