So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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