Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize