So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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