The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
two words...techno handjob
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize