Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
