Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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