I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
