There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
