I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
