Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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