I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
