So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
