you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
These tits shall not be calmed
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
