just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We have so much sex to catch up on
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
