don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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