I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
