She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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