I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
