And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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