reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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