Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
