Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
