just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Ladies don't puke and tell
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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