And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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