I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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