There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
