paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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