Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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