FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My ass is underappreciated
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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