Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
