I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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