Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
