What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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