I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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