everyone is single if you try hard enough
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
