i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
