my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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