love makes seman taste better
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
