David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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