I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
