Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize