If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize