Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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