You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
