IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I forget how to act sober
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
