I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize