I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
