good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize
