In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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