...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
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