the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Randomize
