i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
