Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
don't judge my taste in strippers
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
