sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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