Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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