Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
