I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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