i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
