Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
it hurts more in the daytime
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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