I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Randomize
